What the Ph@wk!?!

Pedal to the Wallet: My Suggestion to Lowering Gas Prices

I feel like this has been a never ending battle…well not so much of a battle but rather a one-sided affair of complaining and the other side of reaping MAD mofo profits. What the phawk am I talking about? Gas prices of course!

You’ve probably read, heard, seen plenty of bullshit about gas prices and I think there has been a good 10 years of complaining and false-hopes that something is going to give. Well guess what? Reality check, we’re in for the ram-ride up the keyster until someone does something about this.

Think of it this way….Let’s say you and your friends own a company, and this company provides a good or service to the public where basically 90% of people rely on this good. For arguments sake, you could be selling the water that flows through the fossets of your house…and yes, I do assume that the other 10% of people do not wash, have you been on the metro? So one day, you and your friends want to buy expensive cars, boats, houses, hookers, the moon, the talking dog on Regic and Kelly, Michael Jackson’s long lost left nut, but you need a few more coins since Jackson’s nuts aren’t on sale that week…well….let’s raise the price of water and we’ll be able to pay that shit off in an hour. So you raise the price of your goods and services, a few people complain, but in the end, you can sleep at night knowing your credit card reads a zero balance. Next day you wake up and realize, it would be pretty sweet to have an alarm clock that is connected to the atomic clock…not a cheap venture I’m sure so let’s tap our resource of money one more time. Off to your brutally swanked office to push on the next hike in water prices. A few more people complain but at least you got a new alarm clock, right? So you keep raising the prices every now and then and more and more people complain, but you know they cannot stop using water, that is ridiculous! You’re getting a headache from CNN announcing your name on the news every odd day so to shut them up for a few days, you lower the price, you make them think that the high prices aren’t so bad because you gave them a two-cent break. Meanwhile, deep down, you know you can fuck with them next week and buy more cool shit that you never thought of having.

What I don’t get is how are these fuckers in charge are getting away with this? They make billions upon billions of dollars in profit a year and yet they slap us all in the face. This is stealing! It is like someone going into your house every few days and saying, “You see this $20 bill? Well it’s mine now and there is nothing you can do about it.”

If I ever meet one of these mother fuckers, who I assume are fat texans who look like Colonel Sander’s high school bully, I’m going to poke his eyeballs down to his ass so he can watch me kick the crap out of him and then i’m kicking him in the throat so he can fun shitting out my shoe. Why hasn’t this been done yet though?

Rex Tillerson, Chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, according to whitepages.com lives in several places: http://www.whitepages.com/search/FindPerson?site_id=17605&firstname_begins_with=1&firstname=Rex+&name=Tillerson&where=

Peter Voser, CEO of Shell is a Swiss Citizen but is supposed to be working out of the Netherlands office (Carel van Bylandtlaan 16, 2596 HR Den Haag, Netherlands). I’m sure he has a sweet car in a sweet parking spot that requires a couple of speed holes and baseballs bats need to meet his side mirrors.

Richard L. George, President and CEO of Suncor Energy (Petro Canada), became a Canadian Citizen in 1996 and is rumoured to live here: 112 4 Ave Sw, Calgary, AB. Let’s pay him a visit?

So what is the point of this? I challenge anyone and everyone out there to show their disgust for their greed and take pictures or video and post them on youtube, vimeo, flickr, twitter, facebook, myspace and wherever else. With enough flames, hell fire and brimestone maybe our message will get to them, and why start at the bottom of the chain, let’s fucking take out the top.

Pass the message on to your friends, reblog this, since the government won’t help us, we’ll have to do it ourselves. After all, isn’t the saying, if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself?

See you in hell!

“Which Floor?” “The 2nd.” “Are you serious?”

What is the deal with people taking the elevator to go up (or down) one goddam floor?

I can understand if the person was handicap, blind, amputated, retarded or drunk but when you have some douche doing a 100m sprint faster than Usain Bolt for the elevator, jams his arm in the door to keep the doors from closing, squeezes his stupid fucking head through the metal jaws of elevation, dusts off his Gino Camarro limited edition leather jacket with the suede patches on the elbows (yeah, the ugly brown pathches) and then presses the 2nd floor, it raises the obvious question: WHAT THE PHAWK!?

So wait, let me recap…You waste my goddam time because I need to get up onto the 155th floor 30 seconds ago and you have the balls to press fucking ‘2’? You piece of dog shit!

Has society become so lazy that stairs are something we have to go the gym for?

How about this, take the stairs up a couple of floors and burn off that cheeseburger you fat fuck!

P.S.
I win.

Arrrrrnold Says YyyyeeeeeeeeeAAAAAHHHHeeeeeeeee!!!!

So I guess Tim Lambesis is not as busy as he claims to be as he recently released his oddly renditioned creation of Schwarzenegger-infused heavy metal.

Lambesis being every piece of the puzzle except for the Arnold vocals on this album (yeah, the talented motherfucker plays guitar, solos, bass, drums and vocals), really shows that he was infact the father of As I Lay Dying’s writing process in the early days. A lot of chugging with octaves or little riffs over top and a following kick pedal really brings me back to pre-Frail Words Collapse and even most of Frail Words Collapse to come to think of it.

Out of the whole album the best song is by far “I need your clothes, your boots, your motorcycle,” it has a good driving beat that leaves you head banging and chanting the chorus along with the song. Aside from that, the skits are decent and the over-all album is good for a laugh or two. I would not say this would be Lambesis’ one-way ticket to stardom but hey! the guy is already a metal icon so let him do whatever the hell he wants!

August Burnt Us All Red!

Last night was August Burns Red here in Montreal, QC.

Also on the bill was Abandon All Ships, Mychildren MyBride, Impending Doom, and Acacia Strain.

Abandon All Ships, to be totally honest, I missed them but I did hear good things about them.

MyChildren MyBride is where I walked into the show about 3 quarters through their set and…THANK GOD! I’m not really a fan of their music. Their album was rather generic for me and even where I thought they could make it up with breakdowns, they actually come off rather sluggish and forced. Their live show is equally unentertaining, not much movement, not much fan interaction, not much of anything really. And then there is the whole thing with the Linkin Park cover, like, what the fuck?

Impending Doom, despite hearing good things about them, MCMB made me leave because I really needed a cheap beer to help me forget that I actually saw them live. Unfortunately for ID, they did not get graced with my presence but I have a feeling, we’ll cross paths in the future.

Next up, Acacia Strain, who I am actually a fan of, was not disappointed but I can’t say I was really blown away. I thought maybe because I wasn’t in the middle of the floor for them so I did venture into the mix of it and still didn’t vibe too hard with them. I was pretty happy with their set as they included a bunch of their “hits” and did keep it brutal in terms of their song selection but aside from that, it was an alright showing.

Last up was ABR and let me tell you they did not disappoint their fans. A very energetic showing by the Penn state boys despite being exhausted from their tour (according to a post-show convo with JB, the lead guitarist of ABR). They played an excellent mix of their 3 popular full-lengths (Thrill Seeker, Messengers and Constellations). The pit did get pretty crazy, even extending from wall to wall at some points. I did manage to grab a couple of pictures during the stage diving extravanganza but Tumblr is being gay and I cannot seem to upload any of them. I hate stage divers, especially 200+ pounders who should not being jump on top of people’s heads. At the end of the ABR set, the usual chants of “AUGUST! AUGUST! AUGUST!” rang out from the crowd and the band came out and nailed out Back Burner (the crowd’s request, of course).

At the end of the show, me and Bear (my bassist from Avery’s Descent) went out back to talk with the bands. We ran into JB (August Burns Red) and chatted with him for a bit. Pretty cool dude, kind of shy, definately not an ounce of Rock Star attitude in that guy.

This is my second straight time seeing ABR and was equally memorable even though I was sober for this time around. I can’t wait for them to come back!

Why is Dell Service sooooo SLOW!?!?!

Stuck in a chat online with Dell Service is like watching paint dry…I want to know what they hell they’re doing on the other side of the chat window!

Best part about it is that once they reach a certain time limit they have to transfer you to another department but you only have time to exchange a max of five messages before that happens so nothing gets solved and you waste 30 minutes of life that you will NEVER EVER get back.

Shotty service Dell, shame on you when your clients spead millions of dollars on your stuff!